I'm going to run the marathon!

I DID IT! :)

2006-04-27T11:29:00.000+01:00

I did it. I completed the marathon. It was amazing. I LOVED it!!! I want to do it again (but maybe not next year!)

I want to write a full post about the day, but don't have time now. However, wanted to log on to let everyone know I am still alive and mobile (just about, following a partial tear in my achilles, but more of that another time!)

The whole thing took me 5 hours and 25 minutes. I didn't find out my time for a while. But, I ran a good race. My own race. I kept a steady pace throughout, running (jogging) the second half nearly as quickly as the first half. The hardest time for me was between about 17 and 20 miles. After that I ran "as if" I wasn't tired. And it worked. I finished feeling that I had energy to spare!!

The crowds were amazing. So much easier than the long training runs with so many good wishes, so much encouragement all around.

As I said I will write more SOON. As I want to get it all down so that I can remember it forever!

One friend said to me "I could have walked it faster than that!" I think she was joking. But let me just say, put your feet where your mouth is!

Lots of love to everyone who has given me such fantastic support. My next post will be my last!

5 days to go!!!

2006-04-18T11:40:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it! Only five days to go! All those months of training that seemed to last so long, now seem to have flown by, and here I am!!
I did an 8 mile run on Sunday, and now I only have 1 x 3 mile run and 1 x 3 mile walk until the 26 MILES.
I am nervous, but also a little bit excited!
I'm not sure about this carb loading stuff. I guess I will just include carbs with all my meals which I do anyway, and maybe eat more complex carbs and savoury stuff rather than simple sugars which go straight out of your system.
I'm not in the mood for chocolate anyway! Overdosed over the Easter Weekend.

The taper

2006-04-12T10:29:00.000+01:00

I haven't written for a while, but I have been training!!

This period of time is called the taper. The mileage is decreasing in order to allow the body to rest and recover in preparation for the marathon.

I'm finding it hard actually. I've always found short runs almost as hard as long ones, and doing lots of short runs and struggling is making me wonder how I will do the 26.2 miles.

But negative thinking gets me nowhere. All I can do is trust in the training I have done. And I know that I can be persistent and determined when I need to, particularly when I have support, and I know there will be a lot of support on the day.

I am struggling with a couple of niggling injuries as well as frequent headaches. However, had a remedial massage yesterday and she spent time on all of these areas, so I'm trying to look after myself.

I've decided not to have any more alcohol between now and the marathon. Going to focus on keeping well-hydrated and nourished to give myself the best possible chance.

The Big Day

2006-04-04T10:23:00.000+01:00

THE BIG DAY IS SUNDAY APRIL 23RD!!!

The last big week

2006-03-29T12:24:00.000+01:00

This is the last full-on week of training. Should be doing 1 x 8 mile run, 2 x 5 mile runs and an 18 miler.

I did about 6.5 miles yesterday, and ran out of time. (After this I did cycle 8.5 miles!)I think I may not run today as my body feels completely exhausted. And I will aim for another 6 on Thursday. I know this is breaking the program, but it is good to be flexible sometimes!!

I will definitely do 18 miles on Saturday.

The following two weeks are much easier, with the long runs less than 10 miles. I'm looking forward to it. The idea is to recover before the big day!!

Fundraising Target

2006-03-27T16:18:00.000+01:00

I take it back. I am actually £60.50 away from my target. I was getting ahead of myself there.

A good week

2006-03-27T11:59:00.000+01:00

Last week, I kept completely with the program! Which means I did 2 x 5 mile runs, 1 x 8 mile run AND AN 18 MILE RUN!!!

The 18 miler didn't feel nearly as bad as the 16 miler that got me so despondent a couple of weeks ago.

I ran on Saturday morning - good timing, because as soon as I stopped running it started raining and didn't stop for the rest of the weekend.

The run was quite a good sightseeing tour. I ran to Regent's Park, and did a lap, then on to Hyde Park, and did a lap. Managed to get lost in both parks, which added a few miles and meant I ran out of miles, and couldn't do a lap of St. James'. From Hyde Park I ran through central London and back to my mate's in Kings Cross. (Getting lost again in Leicester Square!) There were lots of crowds to negotiate - good practice for marathon day!!

I am very pleased with myself, and have more confidence that completing the marathon is a possibility.

I have also reached my fund-raising target!!! So, I have increased it. Would love to make it to £2000!!

Is it Spring at last?

2006-03-22T12:58:00.000Z

I left the flat at 630am for my 8 mile run. It was LIGHT, and actually quite WARM. Birds were singing. A few flowers were coming out. Is it Spring at last?? I hope so. This has felt like a very cold, long winter, and apparently it has been the coldest March on record. Not a good year to be in training for the marathon, perhaps!!

So, I ran 8 miles. Struggled for the first few but it got easier after that. Since stopping I have noticed a pain in my lower calf on my left leg. I am not sure what sort of a pain it is, or if it is something I should worry about. I hope not. Hopefully the student sports masseur will sort me out on Friday!

I hope I'm back on track

2006-03-20T15:44:00.000Z

On Saturday I did a long run. I cut off 2 miles, as my knee/ankle started hurting, so "only" did 14. However, it felt long enough to count as a long run, and some of my confidence returned.

This morning I did a five mile run. I'm actually hoping it was more than five miles as it took me an hour and five minutes. At that rate I will be running through the night on marathon day.

However, until I checked my time at the end, the run felt good. I started slowly and then picked my pace up. I didn't have any pain in my knee or my ankle today. The only problem was sore muscles around my shins, but this was totally bearable and a result of running lots of hills on Saturday (I think).

I am doing the exercises the physiotherapist gave me. One involves lying on a hard tennis ball (a ball for dogs) for one minute on the band of tissue between my knee and thigh. This is fairly painful, and apparently tricks the tissue into relaxing. Not much fun, but I think I can feel it working. The other good news is that I am going to be getting weekly sports massage from a student of the physio I saw, FOR FREE!! And she will be coming to my work to do it. Ideal.

I am getting very nervous about the marathon. Every time I think about the big day, the butterflies start fluttering!

I got back out there

2006-03-17T18:39:00.000Z

It was so hard to motivate myself to start running again. But I did it today. Although I didn't manage to go before work, I brought my kit with me and went out this afternoon.

I was quite nervous. I didn't know how my knee would hold up, and I think my confidence has been knocked.

I started off quite badly. My right ankle felt stiff and sore and my motivation was low. Things improved once I got to the Heath. I ran on track and grass which is kinder than pavements, and the Heath always manages to raise my spirits. A breather from "London".

By 20 minutes into the run I had found my rhythm. I ran for about five miles and had no problems with my knee at all. So I am all set for a long run tomorrow. I am not sure yet if I will do 16 miles or not. I will do what I can, and I will not beat myself up about it! If I can do the distance, great, but if not, it is better that I recover than wreck my knee and my chances of taking part on the 23rd.

Sports Massage

2006-03-16T12:17:00.000Z

Saw a lovely physiotherapist today who diagnosed my problem (Runner's Knee in layperson's terms) and gave me a great massage and a couple of exercises to do every day that should help.

I am feeling a little more motivated again. Since Sunday I haven't been running, and have been feeling like I don't ever want to run again. Having a bit of TLC and friendly, professional advice has helped.

Will definitely go on a run tomorrow morning before work. She suggested running on tarmac rather than pavement as much as possible, but there are some safety issues around running in parks, so it is tricky.

I need to get back out there before I slow down to a complete stop.

Injury Update

2006-03-14T11:58:00.000Z

Since my knee is still not right, I made a trip to my GP surgery today. He thinks the pain is probably the result of the kneecap moving slightly out of position. Something to do with the muscle. Actually, I've forgotten what he said, but he basically advised
* Exercises to strengthen the quads
* A visit to a physiotherapist
Unfortunately, the physiotherapist at the surgery has no appointments until after the marathon, so I will need to look to my wallet!
In the meantime, I'm going to go carefully. I will try a short run tomorrow and see how it goes, but I may do some alternative exercise this week instead.

Possible Injury

2006-03-13T10:20:00.000Z

I did run 16 miles yesterday. I made it, but it was a massive struggle. It felt about twice as hard as last week's 16 miler.

I went to Richmond Park again. I was planning on doing 2 laps like last time. However, the first lap was so hard (I felt stiff, my right leg hurt, an old man overtook me, I felt like I was taking a real pounding) that I couldn't face doing it again. The motivation just wasn't there. I decided to start running back to Brixton (where I was staying for the weekend) instead. This somehow felt less soul-destroying, as at least I was on my way home.

I think this was a good idea. However, by this time I was in quite a lot of pain, and I felt like I weighed about twice my normal body weight. A weird feeling. My pace felt incredibly slow. I had to work really hard with the positive self-talk to keep myself going. At times I wasn't even sure if I should keep going, as I could tell there was something not right with my right leg.

It feels like maybe my right knee is twisted. I'm not exactly sure. Running downhill or going downstairs is the worst. When I was running yesterday it didn't hurt all the time, but sometimes a sharp pain would seem to travel from my knee down to my ankle and up to my thigh when my foot hit the ground.

When I finished the 16 miles I had a decent stretch and rewarded myself with hot chocolate and a sandwich before taking the bus the rest of the way back to Brixton. When I got off the bus I could hardly walk, it was so painful. It didn't help that it was freezing cold and my sweat seemed to have turned to ice. My teeth were chattering. I made it back to Rebekah's but I felt like crying.

A warm bath helped, and a sleep on the sofa. But I was still incredibly stiff and found it hard to walk. And this is just 16 miles!

Today I am still stiff, but can walk without pain. My right leg seems just about OK but I think I had better seek out a sports injury specialist. It would be awful to get floored by an injury at this stage. Although the thought of the marathon is very daunting following yesterday's difficulties, the though of all this training for nothing is worse.

Ouch!

2006-03-10T17:11:00.000Z

Some runs just seem to hurt a lot more than others. I put today's pain down to yesterday's extra speed! My right calf was complaining loudly for most of the eight miles. I don't think the hills helped. My route took me around Hampstead and Highgate, so it was hard-going. I was running for an hour and thirty five minutes, so maybe I ran a little more than eight miles. Now I need to concentrate on resting in preparation for Sunday's 16 miler.

Picking up the Pace

2006-03-10T09:30:00.000Z

Went out with the running club last night. It is only a 3 mile route, so I made it my aim to keep up with the leaders! There is a big hill on the run. By the time I got to the top I was finding it almost impossible to get my breath, but my recovery was quick, and I managed to carry on. It was a good feeling to really push myself. I ran a lot faster than I usually do. I ran the 3 miles in 27 mins and 22 seconds. It is weird that putting a lot more effort into the speed doesn't seem to make that much difference in the time. I suppose it would over a longer distance. I made sure to have a good stretch afterwards as I think running faster used different muscles, or certainly used them in a different way. But what do I know! 8 miles later today. I'm hoping not to be as stiff as last week.

Weight Loss

2006-03-09T10:58:00.000Z

I am finding that one of the most common questions people ask me when talking about running the marathon is whether I have lost weight. We certainly live in a weight-obsessed society. Unfortunately I am part of it, and am disappointed not to see the pounds dropping off. However, there are so many other questions that could be asked - how do you motivate yourself? What do you enjoy about running? Are you noticing any changes in your mood or mindset? . . . but people hardly ever ask these things. I am trying to focus on all of these aspects myself, and have noticed several things about putting myself through this training program.
* Taking it step by step really does work
* I can do a lot more than I think I can. Realising this is relevant to my life outside of running.
* Positive thinking really does work. My energy levels are affected by my thought patterns. Negative thoughts are a big depleter of physical as well as mental energy
* Physical exercise definitely lifts the mood, but doing too much exercise with insufficient recovery can lead to a big dip. Recovery and self-care is important to sustain the feelings of well being.
* Support is so important. I can support myself as well as I can but the support of others really helps too. Sometimes when I don't feel like running, or am running out of energy on the run, I think of all the people who have sponsored me and imagine them cheering me on. On the day, I am hoping lots of those lovely supporters will be there.

I ran five miles yesterday, and it was relatively easy and enjoyable despite the rain. I'm looking forward to running club tonight, and challenging myself to increase my pace and see how it goes!

16 Miles: an epic adventure

2006-03-06T13:11:00.000Z

Sunday's run really did take up the whole day, as well as having an effect on the previous night when I went out for my sister's and mate's birthday and kept the alcohol to one bottle of strawberry beer(yum)because I wanted to be well hydrated.

On Sunday I left the house by 10am to go to Hermione's house in Tooting Bec. Arrived there at 12 midday and set about mixing up my Lucozade sport, applying vaseline and adjusting clothing. It was then a 20 minute or so walk to Streatham Hill, and a train to Clapham Junction then Richmond. Except we didn't get off at Richmond because we thought we would be clever and get off at North Sheen (closer to the park), but somehow ended up in the wrong place.

The station we got off at was called St. Margaret's - a very small station with no taxi rank and very few buses. When we called the taxi number advertised at the station, the operator did not even know where St. Margaret's was. After many frustrating phone calls etc. we got a bus to Richmond and a cab to the park, finally setting off running at about 3pm (5 hours after I left the house!!

All went well from then on. Herms ran with me for the first lap and it made a real difference to have company. I couldn't get quite so much of a rhythm but it was really great to have someone to chat to, taking my mind off the pain. And the park is beautiful. It was lovely to feel that I was running in nature, through woods, past ponds etc. Unfortunately we didn't see any deer. We did got lost at one point and end up climbing up a near vertical slope and over a fence to get back on to the path, but it all added to the sense of adventure!

After the first lap I left Hermione with her book and embarked on my solo lap. I am amazed that I can honestly say it was not too bad! I enjoyed the light. The sun was just going down and the sky was many beautiful colours. There were a few clouds, meaning that the sun was coming through in rays, making lovely patterns. It beat running on the roads. And I finished feeling strong, with energy to spare!

Afterwards, I stayed at Hermione's and had a lovely warm bath while she cooked for me. A perfect way to recover. I was so exhausted that I was fast asleep by 1015pm.

Every step hurt

2006-03-03T17:34:00.000Z

I did a seven mile run today. Aerobically I was fine, but my legs were so stiff and sore that every step hurt - my ankles and thighs particularly. I have a feeling I didn't stretch for long enough after the run yesterday.

It was difficult to enjoy the run because of the physical pain, but it was a great route. I ran to Regent's Park, and then around the perimeter. Ran past London zoo, but only saw a few cows!

Oh well, at least I kept going and made it back. I am going to have a lovely long soak in a hot bath when I get home. I need to be well recovered for Sunday's mammoth effort.

Toe nails

2006-03-03T17:32:00.000Z

One piece of not so inspirational information I received yesterday, was that it is fairly common for people's toe nails to go black, and then drop off a couple of weeks after the marathon. Yuk.

And my toes were a little bit tender after the 14 mile run at the weekend.

Running Club

2006-03-03T09:35:00.000Z

I went to the running club at my gym last night. I felt full of energy again, and the run improved my mood massively. It was good to run with other people for a change, at a slightly faster pace than usual. And I had a chat with someone who did the New York Marathon a couple of years ago, which all helps with the motivation. I'm quite looking forward to the run in Richmond Park this weekend. I might try a bit of carb loading on Saturday. I might not have much choice actually; due to a friend visiting, a long-standing arrangement and a friend's birthday I am going out for breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow. My wallet will not be happy.

Exhaustion??

2006-02-28T09:34:00.000Z

I am feeling unwell. I don't know if I have caught something or if it is the effects of Sunday's run. Shall I list my symptoms??!! OK then ...
Light-headed
Nauseous
Needing loads of sleep
That's it really!
I've been trying to drink lots of water, eat lots of carbs, get lots of sleep . . . but I'm still feeling rough today. Can't face even a 4 mile run so have postponed it until tomorrow.

14 MILES!!

2006-02-27T11:35:00.000Z

I did it! I ran 14 miles!! It was HARD but not as hard as last week, not at all. I managed to stay positive. I kept well hydrated by buying drinks from shops on the way and filling up my water bottle. I managed to keep going right until the end. My pedometer actually said I had run 15 miles. It too me 2 hours and 46 minutes!! I am amazed that I ran so far. I feel quite proud.

Don't eat fruit before you go running

2006-02-27T11:16:00.000Z

I ran six miles on Friday after work. I had left over 2 hours since lunch, but I had also eaten a pear about half an hour before I went. I was told afterwards that this was a really bad idea. I certainly suffered for it, and would advise everyone to avoid fruit before running. Apparently it is the acid in your stomach that does it. I was very nearly sick, got a terrible stitch, and had to keep stopping. So that is one lesson I have learnt.

Running my own race

2006-02-22T12:45:00.000Z

I can't wait for the Spring to come. Today was biting cold. I ran 4 miles and it took me 35 minutes. I am still feeling disappointed with my pace. However, I need to work on accepting where I am at right now, and running at the pace that is right for me, not constantly trying to be somewhere different. When I do this, I feel so much happier!!

What a difference a bra makes!

2006-02-22T12:38:00.000Z

Still on the same theme, but a happier story to tell. I wore my iron bra (good name, Chalky) to the gym last night, and managed to run on the treadmill without losing my balance!

I was trying to do a speed session. Alternating running pretty slowly with one minute bursts of speed. However, the machine kept telling me my heart rate was high so I got worried and slowed it right down. Don't want to keel over at this point.

It turns out that the machines are rather anxious and prone to panic. Mr Gym Instructor said to ignore them. Speedy running here I come.

A long way to go

2006-02-20T14:54:00.000Z

This is a tough point in the training. And my training manual does warn me of this so I shouldn't be surprised.

I am about halfway through, and all I can see ahead of me is more and more miles to cover. With Friday's run taking such a toll on me, I can't quite imagine getting through. I have come so far, but this is still so far to go.

The fact that so many people have sponsored me is one thing that keeps me going. I feel I owe it to them not to drop out now. And, of course, I believe in the Mental Health Foundation and want to raise money for them.

I'm not quite so sure that I believe in myself. But I suppose I should. I have made it so far, and just need to keep taking it step by step.

The importance of a good bra!

2006-02-20T11:06:00.000Z

Sorry if this offends anyone's sensibilities, but this is a very real issue for me and one that can't be ignored!

I worked at a mental health project over the weekend - a sleep-in shift - and went straight from there to the gym, where I planned to do some speed training.

While getting changed, I realised I had forgotten my sports bra, but didn't think it would matter too much, and went in the one I was wearing.

As soon as I started running it just felt all wrong. Not only was it uncomfortable, but I felt completely off balance. It was so weird! I only managed to keep going for 20 minutes, and kept having to walk! So only did 2 miles when was planning on running about 4. At least I have learnt an important lesson!

I went to a yoga class instead, where the type of bra is not quite such a key issue!

Calling all computer nerds

2006-02-18T19:54:00.001Z

I'm trying to work out how to have my fundraising website as a link. I've tried following the instructions on help with no success. Surely it can't be that hard? Anyone got any suggestions of the "Computer skills for dummies" variety?
The link I want to post is
www.just-giving.com/ellabullingham

Now I am really feeling it

2006-02-18T16:57:00.000Z

Hooray, this computer lets me choose pretty colours and change the font size!

I did a 12 mile run yesterday. Pedometer said 11.5 miles. It took me 2 hours and 6 minutes. And it completely finished me off. I had to use a lot of the mind techniques to keep going, because my body was screaming at me to stop!

The route I chose went through Highgate, Hampstead, Muswell Hill and Alexandra Palace, so it was pretty hilly. But I think it was just the length of time running that made it so hard. By 9 miles my legs just wanted to stop. I had enough air in my lungs, it was my legs that let me down.

Well, they didn't let me down, because I made it, but felt like I was hobbling by the end and found it hard to walk for the rest of the day. Luckily, I'm fine today, and was careful to stretch well afterwards.

Yesterday I started encountering some problems. A blister on my right food and chafing underneath my bra. It is time to get the vaseline out, I think.

And I think I need to be careful to eat enough. A 2 hour run must burn at least 800 calories, and yesterday I was definitely low on energy. Had a large bowl of porridge with banana in the morning at about 10am. Then went to a yoga class. Then the run. It was 315 by the time I got home and I hadn't eaten anything else. I had drunk a lot of lucozade sport. By the time I got home I didn't feel like eating, I just wanted to sleep. I ate some toast and pretty much passed out! Woke feeling very groggy and a little feverish, which I understand to be a possible effect of dehydration so I need to be careful.

Now the mileage is increasing all of this becomes more important.

Route-Planning

2006-02-16T10:26:00.000Z

Yesterday, I planned a route using the london cycle route planner. It was great. (Thanks for giving me this idea, Chalky!)Made the run more interesting because I didn't really know where I was going, and by the end of it I KNEW I had run six miles rather than having to rely on my pedometer. As it turns out my pedometer is pretty accurate since I reset it. So I can use it with more confidence from now on.

I am trying to feel happy with my progress but there is another more critical voice that comes in. It took me an hour and six minutes to run six miles, which is over 10 minutes a mile. I wish I was faster, and feel a bit disappointed with myself that I am not. Also, I think running slower might actually make the marathon harder. After all, it means more time running.I'm not planning on giving Paula any competition but a 9 or 8 minute mile might feel more satisfying.

However, the book I am reading says just to give yourself the goal of GETTING ROUND the first time you run a marathon. If you set yourself a time goal, you may end up feeling you have failed when you have actually completed one of the biggest challenges of your life.

I know this makes sense, but I think I am a little bit addicted to that critical, perfectionist voice!!

Another day, another run . . .

2006-02-14T18:00:00.000Z

Didn't make it out this morning. Had an earlier start than usual as was at Hepatitis C training all day. Luckily finished by 4 and had my running stuff with me just in case. I planned to do six miles but pedometer said about 5. It is so hard to tell. Ran for 55 minutes anyway, around Parliament Hill, past the Royal Free Hospital and through Belsize Park. It was a nice evening for it, and I found it relatively easy. But it feels like a long time to go, with lots more training days, until the marathon. I suppose I just need to take it a day at a time, because if I look too far ahead then I can't imagine I will be able to keep the motivation up.

Working late tonight, so back at work now. A good way to avoid all the nauseating couples. (Not that I am bitter or anything.)

Eleven Miles

2006-02-13T14:20:00.000Z

Can you believe it?? I ran eleven miles!! Well, roughly, anyway. I was running for one hour and fifty minutes. Did have a quick toilet break, but apart from that was pretty much running continuously!! I used Lucozade Sport this time, as this is what is going to be given out on Marathon day. Drank it before and during, and it seemed to help. I just wish they didn't put all that artificial sweetener in it.

The final two miles were tough. Not so much aerobically, it was my legs that felt it, and I started feeling achy and stiff. But I made it!! Used some positive affirmations and visualisations to keep me going at the tough moments. I must deserve an A* for effort anyway!!

Got home for a stretch and bath, and then had a sleep. Both times I have done the long runs I have felt the need to sleep afterwards and woken up feeling pretty awful. Maybe I need to take more water and carbs following the run to avoid burn out.

OW!

2006-02-13T14:11:00.000Z

On Saturday I got up early. The plan was to go to a 9am yoga class and follow this with a speed training session on the treadmill (to make up for the session I missed in the week).

Arrived at the gym in plenty of time for yoga. So far, so good. But on the way into the yoga studio managed to trap my fingers in the door. It was seriously painful. One of my fingers started bleeding and the other nail went black. I was reduced to laughing hysterically to avoid crying in public.

I felt quite shaken, and was advised by the yoga teacher to go home, so I did!!

So, the training session was a non-starter, which means this is the second week in a row I have missed a session.

Question for Chalky

2006-02-10T16:39:00.000Z

Where do you go to add a website link. Just went through all the bits but couldn't find it!

I LOVE TO RUN!

2006-02-10T12:15:00.000Z

The book I am using to get me through the marathon, aims to prepare you mentally as well as physically. One of the exercise this week was to write a paragraph full of positive, affirmative statements about running the marathon. Here is mine! If you tend to have an allergic reaction to self-help, affirmations and positive thinking, look away now!

I AM GOING TO RUN THE MARATHON. I LOVE TO RUN, AND I DO IT FOUR TIMES A WEEK. MY LEGS ARE SO STRONG - THEY TAKE ME WHERE I WANT TO GO. I ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY. WHEN I RUN IT IS AS IF THE WIND IS AT MY BACK AND I COULD GO ON FOREVER. I ALWAYS FINISH MY RUNS, AND I LOVE THE FEELING OF SATISFACTION THIS GIVES ME. I CAN'T WAIT TO RUN THE MARATHON!

So, I am supposed to read this every morning and before I go on every run, until I know it off by heart and can use it as fuel to keep me going!

Goodbye Chorleywood

2006-02-10T12:03:00.000Z

I stayed at my parents' last night. Next week they are moving from the family home that I have lived in since I was ten, so I went to see the house for the last time and say goodbye.

Unfortunately, most of the beds have gone already so I had to sleep on the sofa, and was kept up for a lot of the night by this cough I can't get rid of. So, I only just managed to drag myself up today, and out into the winter morning.

I'm glad I did though. It felt good to be doing a tour of Chorleywood now my parents are moving away from there, and reminisce a little. And it is so much nicer in the (almost) countryside, and away from traffic fumes. I went across the common, and the floor was so springy it was a bit like being on a trampoline!

I ran five miles. The same five miles I ran towards the beginning of my training. I could see a massive difference in my fitness and in my enjoyment of the run.

Today I am going to make a GP appointment as I can't seem to shake this cold off. Just need to check it is OK for me to be running, that I don't have a chest infection etc. But I think it is probably just the time of year, and hopefully a good night's sleep tonight will sort me out!

I've reached £800 on my sponsorship, so I'm getting there!!!

Exhaustion

2006-02-07T10:35:00.000Z

Ran 4 miles this morning, based on a piece of string and a cycle map. It took me 45 minutes, so I'm hoping it was a little more than 4 miles. But maybe I should stop getting quite so hung up about mileage, and focus on the positives i.e. that I am definitely getting fitter and increasing my distance at a steady rate. I also think that the mornings are starting to get lighter, which is good news because the training schedule is increasing in intensity (and therefore time spent training increases and I have to get up earlier!) over the coming weeks.

I am so tired though. Absolutely exhausted. The combination of time of the month, the end of a cold and all this running! I need to find some more energy from somewhere!

The furthest yet

2006-02-06T10:17:00.000Z

I did a 10 mile run (roughly) on Sunday. Whether or not it was ten miles, it was definitely the furthest I have ever run. I was running for 1 hour and 35 minutes. It was a good run too. I managed to find some green areas quite close to where I live, alongside a river, which beats traffic fumes! So, I'm feeling more positive than I have been, and felt pretty proud of myself. I felt like stopping at times but managed to keep going, even pushing myself to a "sprint finish" (poetic licence) at the end. Had a lovely stretch afterwards and a long, hot bath. Consequently, I am able to walk today, which is a bonus!

Running nowhere fast

2006-02-06T10:13:00.000Z

I went to the gym Friday night and ran on the treadmill. I HATED it!! Running on the treadmill is so boring. I didn't have earphones so couldn't listen to music, and the 5K I ran seemed to go on forever. I think I need to work on the visualisation tecniques suggested in my training manual. Then I could have pretended I was running somewhere beautiful and inspiring with the wind at my back and crowds cheering me on. As it was, I just listened to my own moaning and negativity. I am now pretty much convinced my pedometer is being generous with the mileage.

Ill again

2006-02-02T10:29:00.000Z

Double whammy of another cold and period pain.
Have decided to go to the gym tonight and run on the treadmill. That way I can stay out of the cold, have a bit of a steam afterwards, and be sure of the distance!
That is if I make it through the day and don't end up retreating to my bed.

Swear Word

2006-01-31T10:41:00.000Z

I won't actually write the swear word in case it offends some of my readers!

I did a run today that was 3 miles according to the milometer on my bicycle. My pedometer said it was 3.6 miles. Which might mean I have been covering less distance than I thought.

Hopefully my milometer on my bicycle is wrong, although this seems more unlikely than the pedometer being wrong.

My brother in law has some kind of snazzy satellite navigation thing that he uses while mountain-biking that gives an accurate mileage. I'm going to see if I can borrow it to put my mind at rest.

The short run was hard work today. My feet ached all the way round and I felt so stiff. I am beginning to feel a little despondent but I will fight it!!

8 miles??

2006-01-30T11:30:00.000Z

My pedometer fell open during my run. My the end of what I thought was 8 miles, it told me I had done 6.5 miles. But it took me 1 hour and 10 minutes so I must have done more than that, right?

I am quite worried about relying on my pedometer re. mileage. What if I am running less than I think I am? It will be a very nasty surprise on marathon day.

But I don't really know how else to check it as I am not convinced my bike milometer is right either. If it is, then I think my pedometer is definitely telling me I am going further than I really am.

It is all very worrying.

Where are all my fans?

2006-01-28T13:34:00.000Z

Well, it would appear that the world has lost interest in my training progress. No comments for several posts now. I will have to try and think of more jokes or something! I fear I am a bit less witty these days. All this running is taking it out of me!

I'm still on track with the program. Ran nearly 3 miles yesterday. It was freezing. And tomorrow is my first 8 miler. I'm planning to run on the heath. Hoping that the attractive surroundings and Sunday morning walkers will distract me from the pain.

Despite improving my warm up and stretching routine, my achilles seems to be getting worse. My book suggests ice treatment, but I'm not sure about that in this weather! My heating broke down yesterday, so being in my flat was ice treatment in itself!

5 miles today

2006-01-25T11:45:00.000Z

The morning runs are changing now, with one longer run during the week as well as the long one at weekends. I am finding that I enjoy the longer runs more and find them easier than the short ones, and I don't really get it. The only thing I can think of is that the sense of achievement isn't the same with the 3 mile runs.

I feel quite smug this morning, having successfully run 5 miles before cycling to work. I really enjoyed the run until I came across a dead cat on the pavement. The poor thing looked like it had been knocked over by a car, and was only recently dead. No tag, so I couldn't inform the owners. It will be horrible for them to find her like that.

Now I am doing more exercise I am finding it hard to drink enough water to keep myself hydrated. Had better go and get some now. It is hard enough drinking 1.5 litres a day . . .

Fundraising

2006-01-24T17:16:00.000Z

I'VE RAISED £630, which takes me about HALFWAY to my target. So, that is good news.

The bad news is, I've just found out that the gift aid part doesn't count, so I need to increase my fundraising target to about £1500 on the website.

Hopefully, people will continue being generous. I raised about £200 at my birthday drinks by taking my sponsorship form out when people had had a few!!

PLEASE sponsor me and ask all your friends to do so too!!
Go to www.justgiving.com/ellabullingham
or e-mail me at ella.jane@btopenworld.com and I will add you to my paper form.

THANK YOU!

Cold, dark mornings

2006-01-24T11:42:00.000Z

It is SO hard to get up. It doesn't help that the heating doesn't work in my bedroom. If it wasn't for my cats I don't know if I would get up at all!

I am looking forward to the spring, but at the moment it feels a long way away. I was SO cold for the first half of the run, and felt stiff and slow. I warmed up after this, but my ears never quite made it, despite my hat.

Still, I ran 3 and a half miles so I am still on track and proud! It is weird, I often find the 3 mile runs harder than the long one.

Beside the Seaside

2006-01-23T13:54:00.000Z

My long run this week (7 miles now) was lovely. I went to visit my parents in Boscombe (nr. Bournemouth) and ran along the front. The sun was shining. There were lots of people around. The sea was beautiful. And I had company. My mum ran with me for a bit, and later my sister cycled alongside with me. It was nice to have people to chat to while running. And generally lovely to be by the sea and in the sunshine. It was hazardous at points - Children careering about on bicycles and rollerblades, a man walking backwards, dogs tripping me up - but it all adds to the fun and relieves the boredom!!

I was surprised how easy I found it. It was very flat, which helped. I actually ran at a faster pace than normal despite running further. I think this might have been because my sister was cycling next to me, I'm not sure.

I had a lovely stretch afterwards too (over-use of the word 'lovely' I think!). I used to find stretching a pain, but now it is one of my favourite parts.

Next week is 2 x 3 mile runs, 1 x 5 mile run and 1 x 8 mile run! I'm feeling really good about this steady progress I'm making at the moment. And it is not like me to be optimistic! Maybe that is an effect of the running too - all that serotonin buzzing about my system!!

Running with a hangover

2006-01-23T12:56:00.000Z

Friday night I went out for my birthday and had a few too many cocktails. The thing with cocktails is that they taste so yummy and don't get boring, so it is easy to over-indulge.

Needless to say, I paid for it Saturday morning. I went out for breakfast with Hermione, which helped a little, but I certainly didn't feel up to running.

Nevertheless, I was determined to go. I took it very easy and did a little under 3 miles at quite a slow speed, making sure I drank loads of water. It felt HARD but I'm pleased I did it, because it means I am still on track and have done everything I should have done this week.

Internal Struggles

2006-01-20T10:33:00.000Z

I'm finding it hard to get back into the swing of running when I plan to. Having that day off on my birthday seems to have knocked me off track a bit. I am getting out there, but yesterday the conversation / struggle I had with myself about whether I was going to go or not must have lasted about 30 minutes at least.

Me 1: Right, I'm going to go on a run when I get home from work.
Me 2: But I am so tired I am falling asleep on the tube, I shouldn't go. I don't want to go. I can go tomorrow morning instead.
Me 1: It is better to go today. I will feel better if I go. I don't want to get another day behind, and going on the run may make me feel more awake as well.
Me 2: I'm so so tired. I don't need to push myself so hard. It is OK not to go once in a while, and there is still time to make it up. It will be so nice just to get home, but my cosy clothes on and have a quiet, peaceful night with flatmate, cats, embroidery and TV! And maybe the rest of that sparkling wine.
Me 1: Yes, that does sound lovely. I deserve a break.
Me 2: Good, that is settled then. And I am not going to feel bad about it.

That wasn't the end of the conversation. As I was changing out of my work clothes I thought "I suppose I could go on a run", and the motivated part of me managed to grab hold of that possibility again. So I got into my running stuff instead of my PJs and headed out for a 4 mile run.

I don't like running in the evening too much. It doesn't seem so safe, even when I stay on the main roads. Maybe I was just feeling vulnerable/paranoid but there seemed to be lots of leering men around.

Nevertheless, I'm still pleased I went. I recovered my energy and my positive mindset. Running is so good for the mood and definitely helps my depression.

And I still managed to have a cosy evening in after the run, so didn't lose out on that. Just gained that satisfying sense of achievement.

And I spoke to someone at the Mental Health Foundation yesterday. They are having a reception for the runners on marathon day. All my friends / family can go there too. I can have a shower and get a massage and there will be food and drinks.

I just hope that once I sit down I will be able to get up again! I guess that the shower and massage will help. I hope so!

First run of the week

2006-01-18T17:20:00.000Z

I am fed up with this computer not letting me write in lilac, but maybe I should not let myself be distracted by such issues!

I ran again this morning, but I nearly didn't! For silly reasons like . . . I don't feel like it . . . It is the day after my birthday . . . I need my sleep (if there is one thing I am not deprived of in my life it is sleep!)

Once again, Sammy the cat came to my rescue and wouldn't let me go back to sleep. Once I had fed him I did try going back to bed, but then a thought came into my head, "I suppose I could go", and I took advantage of it! Jumped up and put my running stuff on before my saboteur could say another word.

So I went, and it was fine. Not great but fine. And I've had some good advice from Jules (Thank you Julian) about ways of tackling my achilles problem. Although I was stretching, I wasn't warming up before stretching so I will try that. If that doesn't work I will try getting "orthotics" for my shoes. Will have to find out what they are first though!

Happy Birthday

2006-01-17T10:17:00.000Z

to me that is!
I didn't go running today. Decided I deserved a break on my birthday. A relaxed morning with a cup of tea and Lorraine Kelly before leaving for work!
I will have to go Wednesday, Thursday and Friday instead.

How come this blog sometimes gives me the option of choosing font size, colour etc. and sometimes doesn't? I wanted to write in lilac!!

I ran six miles!

2006-01-16T11:18:00.000Z

I think that deserves a large font, don't you!

To be exact, I ran 6.4 miles, but whether it is possible to be exact using a pedometer, I don't know! Probably not.

Anyway, I was running for 55 minutes. I didn't have to stop. At the 3 mile stage I actually felt GOOD and picked up my pace a bit. Completely different feeling to the short run I did on Thursday night.

I'm starting to feel a bit excited because I can see myself making progress. I'm noticing that my overall attitude is changing a bit as well. It is hard to explain, but I am less avoidant of things I find challenging. Able to make myself do it. Not all the time, but the change is there.

My main worry is the pain in my achilles. Reading my running book it looks like this could cause a problem and affect my training and ability to run the marathon. At the moment, I'm not sure it is getting worse. However, was particularly sore when I got out of bed this morning.

I'm just not sure what to do about it. It isn't the sort of thing you go to your GP about is it?

Keeping with the program!

2006-01-13T11:50:00.000Z

I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. This week I have done a 4 mile run and 2 x 3 mile runs, and am due to run 6 miles on Sunday.

It is a good feeling to be where I am supposed to be at this stage, but I am finding it hard not to look ahead and panic. Because I have diaried all my runs in, when I write things into my diary I will see something like 16 MILE RUN . . . and I just can't imagine ever being in a place where that is possible.

On the other hand, running for 10 minutes used to be a struggle, and I can now comfortably run for over half an hour.

My run yesterday was hard though. I did just under 3 miles, and it felt harder than my 4.5 mile run the other day. Just didn't feel right. My right leg felt like lead and my left achilles was sore. I also ran at the end of the day instead of the beginning, and it was dark, which didn't seem to help.

Hopefully Sunday's run will go well and I will be filled with renewed optimism.

Another success!

2006-01-11T13:26:00.000Z

I think I really am going to run the marathon!

I'm getting in to this running thing now. This morning I had the usual fight with myself about getting out there but it was a bit more half-hearted than usual.

4 miles this morning, and it didn't feel too hard. I can definitely feel my fitness increasing, so at least the satisfaction is there.

I can't wait for the mornings to become lighter though. I'm sure it will be more enjoyable running in the spring time.

Another Plug

2006-01-10T18:03:00.000Z

Another plug for my sponsorship page!!

www.justgiving.com/ellabullingham

GO ON,YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!

People are being so generous, and I am really grateful for this. I want to raise as much money as possible for the Mental Health Foundation, as they do excellent work AND mental health funding does not tend to be very glamourous or popular.

However, since one in four of us will experience mental distress at some point in our lives it is something that affects us all. I imagine the real figure is higher than one in four, as stigma causes many people to stay quiet about their experiences.

I am one of these one in four, and I will write more about my own personal reasons for supporting this cause some time soon. In the meantime, dig deep and sign up on my page. If you don't like the internet way of doing things, let me know and I will put you on my paper form.

Thank you to everyone who is giving me support. You know who you are!!

Sense of Achievement

2006-01-10T11:02:00.000Z

The great thing about this running is that I do get a real sense of achievement. Although I do still have to fight myself to make it out of bed and into the cold, I know that I can do it, and that I will feel better if I do.

And in some ways it isn't hard. It is just putting one foot in front of the other. Not like writing an essay or something. I went to week one of a writing course last night, and was completely bombarded by my inner critic, by all the stuff I used to feel at school. Surely I should have grown out of this by the age of 32?!:
Everyone else is better than me
My ideas are rubbish
I'm just going to sit here quietly
And so on.

The people who write this marathon book say that running the marathon and overcoming obstacles such as low motivation, weather, sore legs and so on can help you overcome other obstacles in life. You learn that you can do anything you set your mind to.

I hope so.

Oh yes, I ran 3 and a half miles this morning. 4 miles tomorrow.
The long run this week is 6 miles, so I'm building up to that one!

Triathlon

2006-01-08T21:05:00.000Z

Hmm. Usually I am able to choose font size and colour and so on, but no such option today.

Anyway, on to more important matters. This afternoon I:
* Cycled home from work (6 miles)
* Went on a run (4 miles)
* Had a bath (O miles)
So, my question is, does that count as a triathlon?

The run was nasty because of the weather but it was all worth it because of the sense of achievement. I was so proud of myself for making it and for running 4 miles. I am noticing my fitness increasing. Running 6 miles next week no longer feels like an impossibility.

RAINING

2006-01-08T13:23:00.000Z

It is raining today. And freezing cold. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. I won't let anything like a bit of weather stop me! I will overcome!

Running Pains

2006-01-07T15:56:00.000Z

Ow! Running when pre-menstrual is painful, even with 2 bras. Maybe I need to invest in a better sports bra, but I HATE spending money on bras.

Apart from that the run went well. 4 miles this time, which felt quite a lot further than 3 miles, but I did it without stopping. And, according to my pedometer, I averaged a speed of 7.04 mph, so faster than last time. I'm not convinced my pedomter isn't lying to me though.

Thank you Liz for your acknowledgement that 5 miles IS a long way. Like you say, lots of runners talk about their distances in terms of " I only ran x amount of miles", and I suppose 5 miles is not that much in the context of the marathon. But at the moment there is no only about it for me. I think I will take the word only out of my vocabulary.

The tip of the week from my training manual is to say "but it doesn't matter" when ever I come up with a negative type comment. And this should not only apply to thoughts about running but about my life in general! e.g.

I'm very tired today . . . but it doesn't matter . . . I am still going to run
My legs are sore . . . but it doesn't matter
I don't want to run . . . but it doesn't matter

But the thing is, sometimes it does matter!

Still, I get what they are trying to say.

I have put on weight over Christmas, but it doesn't matter
I am still single, but it doesn't matter

I could go on, but I feel things will only go down hill! Of course, I am sure there are lots of positive things I could say . . .

A short three miles

2006-01-05T12:51:00.000Z

I did a three mile run yesterday that really was three miles! And it did feel much easier and shorter than the five mile run, so that is a relief.

I bought a pedometer in the sale for a fiver, and it seems fairly accurate. Its a good way to keep track of my progress. I'm hoping to improve my time a bit as I am averaging 6 miles an hour at the moment, and I reckon the faster you can comfortably run, the easier the marathon will be as it will take less time!!

I HAVE REACHED 25% OF MY FUNDRAISING TARGET. Thanks for your recent sponsorship Chalky, which pushed me to the quarter way mark.

I've had my hair cut and blow dried today which puts me off going for a run! May have to put it off until tomorrow and have an afternoon nap instead. Though I suppose that could also be detrimental to the hair!!

www.justgiving.com/ellabullingham

Please sponsor me

2006-01-03T08:42:00.000Z

I think most people who read my blog have sponsored me already - THANK YOU! But if you haven't , please do! I need to be close to my target by February, and at the moment I'm only about 15% of the way!

You can sponsor me at
www.justgiving.com/ellabullingham

THANK YOU!

A long three miles

2006-01-02T12:55:00.000Z

I spent some time last night planning a three mile route around Chorleywood using an ordnance survey map and a piece of string. This morning I set off (fairly) enthusiastically for my first measured run.

I returned fifty five minutes later absolutely exhausted and rather despondent. If it takes me almost an hour and this much effort to run three miles then how will I ever run the marathon??!! Not that I am one to panic.

However, I couldn't quite believe it had taken me nearly an hour to run three miles as that is a comfortable walking pace . . . surely I run faster than I walk. Please tell me I run faster than I walk . . .

Hoping for a miracle, I set off in my mum's car and re-traced the route, and am I pleased I did!

I RAN FIVE MILES.

So I feel better now.

To be honest, at what was probably the four mile stage I walked for a bit. But I didn't stop and I made it home, and I have already done my long run for the week!!

I enjoyed some parts of it, particularly at the half way stage when I had that lovely feeling of lightness and being able to run for ever. Its amazing actually how quickly my energy and mindset can change when out running from one thing to the other. One minute I love it, the next minute I hate it, one minute it is painful, the next pleasurable . . . and so on . . .

It is hard work, but at the moment I feel like I will make it.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T16:41:00.000Z

Unfortunately the lack of posts is indiciative of a lack of running.
However, it is also a consequence of me having been in Sibford, Oxfordshire for the past five days, taking a break from technology and the madness of the season.
I only went on one run, though managed a full half an hour. I went on lots of walks, but running alone in the countryside felt unnerving. It is very dark, and there is no one around.
I am very well rested, having had a mammoth amount of sleep while away. Hopefully this bodes well for next week when my running schedule starts in earnest.
My training manual even suggests a lay out for my running log.
However, this may stifle my creativity!

PS

2005-12-24T09:27:00.000Z

Obviously, my other very important goals are to
* Complete the Marathon
* Raise £1200+ for the Mental Health foundation
Maybe I am getting a bit side-tracked on this blog.
Am I really writing much about running at all?

Sight-seeing

2005-12-24T09:16:00.000Z

Running is a good way of exploring the local area and finding out how all the roads fit together! My run yesterday was interesting, because I found myself running past quite a few of the flats I had viewed when looking to buy. It is a amazing how you can completely forget about things until something jogs your memory. Maybe I am just getting old.

Anyway, it was a good run. A full 25 minutes, and it went quickly. I can definitely feel my fitness improving.

I've booked to go on a meditation and yoga retreat for new year. Hopefully I will be allowed to go running while I am there. Presumably we won't be locked in! I'm looking forward to it. A chance to reflect on the year that has gone and look forward to the year ahead. My main goal (for 2006, not for the retreat!) is to meet my future life-partner, and father of my babies!!! (I don't think that is too much to ask?) Maybe at the yoga retreat, or among the London Marathon entrants!

Maybe that is a good place to end.

Cheeky Fundraising

2005-12-22T13:24:00.000Z

Had a good run from work yesterday. Ran up to Belsize Park and back which felt like the most ground I had covered so far. I'm looking forward to running routes based on miles, as I think the sense of achievement will increase. But I think it will be quite difficult to plan all those routes, even with my milometer! Maybe I should try a pedometer, but I've heard they are not very accurate.

I've been invited to a friend's house on Boxing Day and lots of her parents' friends will be there. Seems like a very good fund raising opportunity. The question is, is this too cheeky when I don't know any of them?

But maybe it is OK to be cheeky when I am raising money for an excellent cause!!

Repetition

2005-12-20T10:49:00.000Z

Is this getting a bit repetitive? I went running this morning, so want to write something, but don't know what. Nothing inspiring or witty springs to mind.

I measured my cycle home from work yesterday and it was 6 miles. This disappointed me as I had imagined it was 8 or 9, the length of time it takes me.

Soon, I will be running 6 miles. I could even run to work in the morning! Though my colleagues may not appreciate it if I turn up all red and sweaty.

Running in the countryside

2005-12-19T10:46:00.000Z

Well, more countryside than London anyway.

I stayed at my sister's in Chesham Saturday night, and took all my running stuff with me so we could go running together in the morning.

She backed out because of a cold (terrible excuse) so I went out on my own into the wilds of Buckinghamshire! Well, I ran around the streets anyway, saying hello to the dog-walkers.

I was so worried about getting lost I didn't do much more than run in lots of small circles for twenty five minutes!! Today, I picked my bicycle up from the shop and it is all kitted out with a milometer. I'm looking forward to planning some more interesting routes! It all starts properly after Christmas.

I received my official acceptance e-mail today. I am definitely an ACCEPTED RUNNER on the London Marathon. No backing out now.

Change of Title

2005-12-16T11:13:00.000Z

My blog used to be called, HELP, I'M RUNNING THE MARATHON! Then it struck me that this did not come from a place of power and positivity. So, I've changed it to I'M GOING TO RUN THE MARATHON which exudes commitment, determination and expectation of success!! Hooray!

One foot in front of the other

2005-12-16T11:08:00.000Z

I made it out on my run this morning without too much of a battle! But the run itself felt harder than usual, particularly the first 10 minutes. Almost like running through treacle. I found that counting my steps helped me continue putting one foot in front of the other despite a definite temptation to stop and go and curl up in a nice warm bed somewhere. My achilles continues to give me a bit of bother. Hopefully this won't prove to be too much of a problem. I've also managed to pull my neck and feel I need a massage. Unfortunately, lovely yoga man appears to have disappeared off the face of the earth. If anyone has seen him, please let me know!!

Back on Track

2005-12-14T17:39:00.000Z

I went! Wasn't sure I would actually make it until I left the building, but I just put one foot in front of the other and went from there! This week is week four which means 20 minutes run and 10 minutes brisk walk. Which actually feels easier than last week.

I enjoyed the run and being in the (fresh?) air. I do wish safety wasn't an issue, though. It gets dark so early, and I don't feel that safe being out on my own. Some streets are busy and some deserted. If only we, as women, did not need to live in fear of violence. I would love to go running in parks and woods, but I'm not sure how safe this is, even somewhere as busy as Hampstead Heath. There are so many nooks and crannies. I will have to save these sort of runs for weekends when I can go in the daylight and there are lots of people around.

Sponsorship seems to have come to a halt. I suppose people have other things on their mind, i.e Christmas shopping etc! I have a long way to go to meet my target but the people who have sponsored me have been very generous and exceeded my expectations, so it feels achievable at the moment.

Wow, in April I will run the marathon!!

I'm going to go on a run NOW

2005-12-14T16:19:00.000Z

even though I haven't got all the right gear with me. I've got the shoes and that is the main thing.

I've said I'll stay late at work tonight so can't run once I get home but there is a window of opportunity NOW and I want to take it.I want to get back on the saddle so to speak!!

I've got shoes, trousers, sports bra and vest. But no warm jacket or luminous gear so will need to go out in a woolly polo neck. But I suppose that is OK!

That is the same brown polo neck I just wore to dress up as a reindeer at our work Christmas party! Maybe I will attach the photos if I can work out how!!

Positive Thinking

2005-12-13T14:26:00.000Z

I am still not well, and running sends me into a coughing fit. However, there is no point fretting about it.
1. I will look after myself and I will get well soon.
2. I am looking forward to getting back into running and taking it step by step week by week. It will be great to set goals and achieve them along the way.
3. Jackee, thanks for the idea about rewarding myself at each milestone. I am going to start thinking about a way of doing that.
I'm really hoping/praying I will be well enough to run tomorrow.

Another missed session

2005-12-11T14:37:00.000Z

I really did intend to run this morning, but I just felt too ill. Was re-assured to find validation of my decision in Liz McColgan and Cathy Shipton's "The Marathon Handbook"!

This is not just an excuse, I promise! I've now reached £200 of sponsorship and feel I owe it to all my supporters out there to do this thing! And to myself of course!

So, its lots of vitamin C and ginger tea for me. My next running day is Tuesday. I should be OK by then. And I need to work off all that chocolate cheesecake I ate yesterday!

Answer

2005-12-09T14:48:00.000Z

According to an anonymous poster, it IS ok to run with a cold. But I'm not convinced.

And I didn't go this morning. I spent a lot of time worrying about Oscar (my not so fluffy ginger tabby with a neuroligical illness otherwise known as "wobbly legs") because he didn't seem able to put one of his back leg's on the floor. I sense a vets bill on the way.

And by the time I had finished worrying and following him around the house to assess his condition it was too late to go. Because I also had to take my punctured bicycle to the bike shop. I have also wrecked the tyre because I rode it with the puncture without realising.

What has any of this got to do with running the marathon you may ask?

A good question.

Question

2005-12-08T10:46:00.000Z

If I have a cold, is it OK to run?

Very Proud

2005-12-07T13:14:00.000Z

I'm very proud I made it out on my run this morning, as it was quite a battle to get there. I woke up at 630 am, 15 minutes before my alarm was due to go off. At this time, my brain told me that it was a very bad idea to go running because:
* It was freezing cold anywhere other than under my duvet
* I went running yesterday
* Surely it must be bad for me to go running two days in a row
* I could go Thursday or Saturday or any other time apart from NOW!

Luckily, Sammy (my fluffy ginger tabby cat) was not having any of it. Perhaps his motivation was his tummy. But I like to think that his not so gentle prodding with paws and nose was his way of encouraging me to run, and keep on taking tiny steps towards my goal!

I couldn't get back to sleep and realised I would only feel rubbish if I didn't go, so I jumped out of bed, warmed up, and dashed on to the street. Nearly falling over on the frosty pavement. But that is another story. In my head I am penning an entry about The Hazards of Running. Hoping it will be incredibly witty and win me a publishing deal.

Onwards and Upwards!

It's getting harder

2005-12-06T10:08:00.000Z

This week the plan says I need to start running 4 days a week instead of 3. This feels a lot harder. And the distance is increasing as well. As it should. But it is hard dragging myself EARLY out of bed and out into the cold, dark morning.

The good news is that I have quickly adapted to running and no longer feel sick after ten minutes! The bad news is I am already noticing a sore achilles and a sore muscle. Both on my left foot. And I did spend time and money choosing my running shoes.

Yesterday I parted with some hard-earned cash and bought a milometer for my bike. So I can get on with some route planning. I think I will prefer running planned routes than having to check my watch. Time always goes a lot slower than I think it should!

Sponsorship has slowed down. Am going to have to beg in my Christmas cards this year.

Scary Stuff

2005-12-05T11:08:00.000Z

Last night I got next year's diaries out and pencilled in my running schedule between now and the BIG DAY.
It was OK at first. 3 miles, 5 miles, 6 miles etc. But once I started writing 8 miles, 10 miles, 18 miles . . . I began to panic!!
I'm worried about my stamina. How to keep myself motivated and actually start the run. And how to keep going!
I definitely think it is time to enlist the help of lovely yoga man.
A friend of mine is also doing a life-coaching diploma and has asked me to be a client. (Hmm, I wonder why she asked me . . . because she thinks there is lots to get her teeth into perhaps!)
With both these motivating influences maybe I will be OK.
So, its all-out war on that negative self-saboteur type voice!
I can do it and I will do it and I will enjoy doing it.
Hooray!

Week 3 approaches

2005-12-03T19:32:00.000Z

A no running day today.
I did go to yoga this morning, and it was REALLY hard. I was wobbling all over the place.
I think yoga is a good accompaniment to running. Apparently, running really tightens the hamstrings. Something I don't need, as I am not even able to touch my toes. Yoga stretches everything out, so I try to do some yoga stretches after my run too.
Due to run tomorrow, and it will probably be dark by the time I get out there, as I am working until 2, and need to cycle home first.
I feel tired already!
So, this weeks is 10 minutes run, 5 minutes brisk walk x 2.
Next week is 15 minutes run, 5 minutes brisk walk x 2.
Won't be long until I start the proper program and have to plan routes based on mileage.
They suggest doing this by trying them out in your car.
Since I don't have a car I'm resorting to a piece of string and the A-Z but I'm not convinced how accurate it is.
Also, fear I may get lost, as won't be able to take the A-Z with me, and how will I remember the route?
I am not blessed with a good sense of direction.

Running alone

2005-12-02T20:24:00.000Z

I quite like running on my own. Gives me head space. Time to think, or not think - whatever is needed.

But at the moment I'm only out for about 30 minutes. I was thinking about when I get on to the longer runs, and particularly for the marathon itself - it might get lonely.

Maybe I could find a running partner. Someone else running for the Mental Health Foundation perhaps. Not sure how to go about it, but I guess its worth a try.

My sponsor page is going well. People have been very generous, and now I feel that the marathon is definitely going to happen. I can't back out when people have already given donations!!

Cold Morning

2005-11-30T09:50:00.000Z

Goodness, it was freezing cold this morning. Ice on the pavements and smoky breath. But its amazing how quickly running warms you up.

I enjoyed the run this morning. I have a lot on my mind, and running helps clear it. And I like the sense of taking things step by step and building up gradually. Moving a little closer to my goal every week.

I wonder why, when I do enjoy it, I find it so hard to motivate myself to go. Why does the thought of it not feel as good as the doing of it?

Any answers gratefully received!!

Bad day

2005-11-29T17:26:00.000Z

I got up and it was freezing and I was tired. I made a cup of tea. I made the decision it would be much more sensible to go running from work at the end of the day. It is now the end of the day. I can't go running because I still have too much work to do and am going to be late leaving anyway.

I will go running tomorrow morning instead.
I will go running tomorrow.
I will go running tomorrow.
I will go running tomorrow.

That's settled then.

One Week down, about 19 to go!

2005-11-28T14:25:00.000Z

Well, I successfully met my training targets for the past week! This week, the program goes up to 10 minutes running, 5 minutes walking x 2. Doesn't sound too strenuous! But apparently its best to build up gradually to avoid injury.

Anyway, the good news is that lovely yoga man is back in the country. He has offered
A) To come on some runs with me
B) To give me massages, especially on the big day!
C) To help me with breathing exercises and yoga routines to stretch out properly.

All sounds very lovely.

Fancy Dress

2005-11-26T15:33:00.000Z

Hmm. Some people don't seem to think that running the marathon is challenge enough. I have had several people say to me they will sponsor me more if I wear fancy dress. However, running all those miles is hard work enough, running them in a rhino suit (or something) similar sounds like masochism to me.

I have agreed to consider suggestions thrown at me as long as the items will not weigh me down. One person has suggested dying my hair pink (could be up for that) or shaving my head (definitely not).

I'm excited because two people have signed up on my sponsorship page. Fifty pounds down, only £1200 to go.

I did it

2005-11-25T17:13:00.000Z

Despite all my resistance I finally made it on training run number two. And am back at my desk feeling a lot more motivated than I did before I left.

It was FREEZING though, and I have discovered another item of essential running equipment. Something to keep my ears warm. I have twisted my own arm and will have to go back to sweatshop and part with some cash.

Actually, I LOVE shopping. Last time I went to the running shop I had to seriously restrain myself. There are so many things available to buy!!
Pedometer
Heart Rate Monitor
Various flourescent items
Snazzy back pack to carry water in
Special socks
Lots of clothing in aid of breast cancer (though it turns out they only donate a few pennies when you part with lots and lots of pounds)
hi-tec jackets
and I'm sure there is more I have forgotten!

Had better start saving up!!

I have never seen so many traffic wardens as I just saw on my 30 minute jaunt round Kentish Town. I was scared to stop and do my shoe lace up incase I got a ticket slapped on to my bum.

I was also the recipient of a few hoots. Maybe I should start counting up the number of hoots, wolf whistles and various choice phrases that get shouted at me as I run. It could be an important piece of scientific research.

Today should be day 2

2005-11-25T16:00:00.000Z

OK, so today should be day 2 of 'training'. In brackets because I'm not sure what I'm doing is strenuous enough to count as training yet.

Having locked myself out of my flat on Wednesday night and consequently being very sleep deprived, I couldn't quite get it together this morning to do the right thing.

SO, brought my running gear with me to work. And it is 4pm. The time I said I would go running. I'm looking out of the window and it isn't snowing. So I guess I will go.

I can't stop yawning. I'm so tired. But maybe running will wake me up. Right, I'm going. Honestly.

DAY ONE

2005-11-22T19:47:00.000Z

I can't quite believe I'm really doing it. That I have really signed up to run the marathon! Considering 10K (a few years ago) is the furthest I have ever run in my life, it's certainly a challenge!

And I can't quite believe I will get there. I have this brilliant book which sets out a program for me - from beginner to marathon runner. Today, my first day of training, I just had to run for five minutes, walk for five minutes x 3!!

I am miles and miles away at the moment!

I felt good though. I made it out of bed, donned my new running gear, and set off - smiling smugly at people as they drove past in their cars. A little smugness does wonders for your self-esteem and motivation! But when I ran past crowds and crowds of school boys I wondered if those tight official runner's leggings had really been such a good idea. As it turned out, they were far more interested in each other than me.

Many miles stretch ahead of me, but maybe I really can make it! Having said I will raise money for the Mental Health Foundation is a good motivator. Fighting mental illness/distress on two fronts - by raising money for an amazing charity and by tackling my own depression. Its definitely true that exercise lifts the mood, so hopefully I will be sky high by April.